Conversations With Bob - Pt. 22




Dear Readers, I'm sorry it has taken this long to present this part of the story. It has been the hardest one to write for me personally. After you read it, I believe you will understand why.



Alex had finally gotten his father to allow him to help getting Bob ready for bed the night after he had been hit. His mind was spinning with a combination of questions and instructions from Kathy on what he should and shouldn't do, as well as things he shouldn't allow his father to do. Once Bob and he had gotten the now slightly blood stained shirt off, he visually checked the bandage without removing it. He had been warned to expect some blood, but large amounts of it were to be reported to Kathy at once. He was happy to see that while there was some blood, it wasn't much. He decided not to bother her with the news.

"Are you sure you're O.K. Dad?"

"It hurts some, but I'm alright. Thanks for the help, Son."

"Do you want to go to bed, or are you going to sit up for a while?"

"I hadn't decided yet. Why? Is there something you want to talk about?"

"A couple of things. But if you want to rest, I can wait."

"It's O.K. I'm going to be awake for a bit anyway. At least until the throbbing eases off. What's on your mind?"

"With what happened today, I remembered you talking with Tim and Kathy on that day when we met in the woods. You were talking about 'bodies on the ground' and all that. What happened back home after I left to go back to school after Mom died?"

Bob looked at his son for several moments before answering. A flood of memories seemed to pass through his mind in a fraction of a second.

"Alex, if this was as early as this morning, I wouldn't have answered that question. But there is no doubt about it. You saved my bacon this morning. I was looking down the barrel of his pistol when your bullet hit him. You've earned the right to the unvarnished truth. But to tell it, I want to go back to just after the time you left to go back to school after we buried your mother.

As you know, shortly after you left, we had the earthquakes that destroyed most of the west coast. Then the hurricanes wiped out the southeastern part of the country. Food production was drastically cut, and our ability to refine oil was reduced by about half. The shortages of food and fuel led first to protests, and then riots. Martial law was declared, and the government said in order to keep us safe, everyone had to turn in their weapons. Well, with most of the military and National Guard overseas involved in wars, the law enforcement agencies where simply over-loaded and outnumbered. That is why, at first, martial law was only in the larger population centers. However the crooks and gang bangers had a virtually free reign. Even in small towns like ours, gunshots throughout the night became almost commonplace. In our hometown, the police started patrolling in groups of no less than three at a time.

More than that, after a dozen or so times when the police were called out about gunshots in the dark, only to find themselves the targets of sniper fire, they quit responding to any calls at night that were less than a pitched battle. The crooks had a field day. Without weapons in private hands, there was nothing to stop them.

One night, I'd say about six weeks or so after you left, I was sitting in the living room. I heard someone breaking into the bedroom your mother and I shared. First thing I did was to turn off the lights around me. That put me in the dark, but the night light in the hallway was still on. When he came out of the bedroom I warned him I was armed and told him if he left then, I'd let him live. Son, he stood there and laughed at me. He must have been watching me before that night because he said;

"Let me show you my gun old man."

He started to aim into the living room, I guess to try to either hit me or at least scare me into submission. So I shot him."

"What did the police say about that?"

"Nothing."

"What? Why didn't they? I mean owning a weapon was illegal by then."

"They didn't say anything because I didn't call them. I knew if I did, he'd still be dead, but I would go to jail for illegal possession of a firearm."

"Oh. What about him?"

"He didn't call them either."

"DAD! I mean, what did you do about the body?"

"Remember that mini industrial park near our house? I stuffed him into a couple giant sized garbage bags and dumped him over there."

"Didn't anyone notice anything?"

"If they did, nobody ever said anything. By that time we were hearing shots every night, so what's one more? By the time I got home again, it was about eleven. I cleaned up the blood, and patched the bullet hole in the wall with masking tape and painted over it. By the time the police showed up after the body was found the next day asking if I'd heard or seen anything, everything looked normal. I said I'd heard a shot close by, but since it was after curfew, I stayed inside."

"They didn't suspect you at all?"

"Son, I don't think they even cared. Lets' face it people don't just wake up one morning and decide to invade a home where they know someone is there. I'm sure he had a criminal record, and as far as the police were concerned it was one less bad guy to worry about. So write a report, file it and forget it. But he was only the first of four invaders that tried it. They all shared the same fate."

"But it sounds like you didn't even give them a chance."

"No more than the chance you gave that guy this morning. Son I was defending myself. I didn't go looking for trouble. It came looking for me. Just like this morning. We didn't want trouble. But those three were bound and determined to give us some. Do you feel justified in what you did?"

"Well, I'm not proud of it, but they didn't give me a choice."

"Exactly. I feel the same way. I wish it hadn't happened, but it did. I could only do what I did if I wanted to live. Now let me continue. What Tim, Kathy and I were talking about was a group of gang bangers that had left the larger cities and towns came to our town, they terrorized everyone. On the last day we spent there, they attacked Tim and Kathy's' place while they were still inside. I can only credit The Lord that they didn't come for our house first, but when they started to break down their front door, I intervened with a rifle. I put down several of them and they ran. Later they came back, and they were sent away with reduced numbers again. Then we ran for it. That's what we were talking about."

"I need to think about all of this some more. It just seems so wrong."

"I think both of us getting some rest is a good idea. And you're correct. It is wrong, but we didn't start it. And only God will be able to finish it. Try to get some sleep."

Bob turned down the oil lamp and laid down to try to find a comfortable position. He knew the pain was going to keep him awake. Still, he laid on his side and tried to rest. No matter how he tried to find a good position, as he would start to doze off, he would move and the pain in his back would bring him back from the edge. After what seemed hours, he heard Alex call to him softly.

"You still awake Dad?"

"Afraid so Son. How are you doing?"

The oil lamp was turned back up. Alex rolled onto his side and asked,

"Dad, how do you live with it? Every time I close my eyes, I see it all over again."

"I wish I could say to do this or that and it would go away, but I'd be lying. People find different ways. Some good, some not so good. Some people just try to bury it and pretend it never happened. But that doesn't work for me. Matter of fact, those who try doing that often wind up with mental problems from not dealing with it. Others will use something like drugs or alcohol to numb the pain. That has it's own problems. Others will do whatever it takes to keep it off their mind."

"So how did you handle it the first time it happened to you?"

"I handled it pretty poorly. I don't remember much of the first couple of years after I got out of the service. What I do remember is pretty blurry around the edges. For a couple of years, if I was conscious, I was drunk."

"You?"

"That's right. I'm only a man, Alex. Sometimes things can be hard to take."

"I never knew that. What changed?"

"I did. To be honest, it was The Lord who changed me. You see I had drifted quite aways from him during my time in the service. Then further away as I tried to escape from myself in a bottle. Then one day He made me realize some things. The Bible teaches in the Old Testament that God gave us the right to use deadly force to protect ourselves and our families. I've heard some people try to condemn me by telling me that I should be ashamed, because Jesus changed all of that. It got my attention, because I knew the scriptures pretty well, and I didn't remember them that way. Then it hit me like a brick one day. It was Jesus Himself who said that He didn't come to change the law, but to fulfill it. That would mean the God given right to self defense was still valid. Even more the people who said that He changed things didn't realize what they were saying. You see, if The Lord changed the law, then why did he always place importance on the Ten Commandments?
After all, they are the very first part of the law. If He changed it, then the Commandments no longer apply. Yet He seemed to think they did. So either the law was fulfilled and wasn't changed, or Jesus is a hypocritical liar. I can't believe that, so those people who think He did are just flat out wrong.

Does that make me happy about the things I did? No, it doesn't. But I know I am forgiven. And I know that even though I didn't want to do those things, even though I hated them, I didn't do anything that wasn't allowed and even mandated by the law given by The Father. Does that help you?"

"I don't know. I have to think about it. It's a lot to take in all at one time."

"Just do one more thing Son. Pray about it. Let God show you what He wants you to know."

"I will. Thanks Dad."


BW, Vietnam Vet

If you missed the beginning of this exciting series, it started with Overthrown – Death of America. You can catch up on all of the previous installments here.